A pessimistic optimist's job search journey

Memorial weekend in the US.

My family had a road trip to Portland from – where my husband and I had lived for 7 years and had our two daughters. No computer, two toddlers were by my side 24/7 – so it was impossible to apply for anything that requires more than submitting existing, ready-to-go resume. Nevertheless, I still scrolled through LinkedIn and Indeed, saved job posts that looked relevant to me so I can apply when we return home – although 99.9% of the time I would find out they are not few days later.

Over the long weekend I also came across the 2024 commencement speech by Jerry Seinfeld at Duke. It’ been a long time since I listened to a good graduation speech. Every 10 years I would say?! 2005 – Steve Job gave one at Stanford; 2013 – Tim Minchin delivered a great one at University of Western Australia. They made me feel hopeful and once in a while I still listen to them again. Now in the middle of a job search, similar to a fresh grad, I feel relatable with most of the points mentioned in the speech and it made me feel less anxious, knowing that I am not crazy living the way I do most of the time:

“Just be willing to do your work as hard as you can with the ability you have” – exactly what I am doing; applying for as many relevant positions as I can, with the work experience that I have. And all the time, whenever I do or work on something, this is also my motto. What ever I do, do it with my best.

“Bust your ass. Make an effort. Just pure stupid. No real idea what I’m doing here. Effort. Effort always yields a positive value. Even if the outcome of the effort is absolute failure of the desired result. This is a rule of life. Just swing the bat and pray – is not a bad approach to a lot of things.” – Yes, I have no idea what I am doing – applying for jobs and jobs even though in the back of my head I knew I am going to be rejected (which is basically the “absolute failure of the desired result”). But I just have to keep doing, keep giving my best.

“Fall in love. I suggest falling in love with anything and everything. Every chance you get. Fall in love with your coffee, your sneakers, your blue zone parking space.” This one made me smile. I love my coffee every morning. I try a new stencil with chocolate powder once or twice a week, and whenever I get a good one, I feel very happy!

“We are embarrassed about things we should be proud of, and proud of things we should be embarrassed about.” I spent four years giving birth and raising two little human beings. This has been the most difficult thing, most life-changing experience, the biggest commitment I’ve ever had in my life. I slowly figure it out, and when I start feeling I get the hang of it and now I can do other things while being a parent, I also feel that no one would even care about this most significant experience I’ve gained over the last four years. I don’t feel embarrassed, no one who went through the experience of carrying and giving birth to her child would feel embarrassed. But I think it is ashamed and embarrassing if companies or hiring managers think these gap years in mothers’ careers are irrelevant or insignificant. I know so many mothers – including me, feel this way as they try to rejoin the workforce.

“The less secure and confident you feel in the direction, the more surprises and excitement you will have in store. That’s good. So the better the job you’ve done in finding a path for yourself, the more boring and predictable your life is going to be. If you’re sitting here today completely confused, feeling lost, adrift, and totally abandoned, you might even be a genie.” Indeed, I am feeling very insecure and not so much confident about the direction I am choosing (applying for EA positions – an experience I gained ten years ago, while my most recent work experience is in other domains). But at the same time, I know I will enjoy doing it and I will do it well. In the past few days I received several rejections, and I kept telling myself – all you need is one person to read your resume, to appreciate your experience, and give you a chance. And believe that just do your part well and great things in life do happen – is what helps me to take all these rejections lightly and keep going. You only need one reason to do things.

“I just wanted to have this super cool job. And cool is a word not easily defined. It is really just whatever you think is cool. So just go for what you think is the coolest. Money will be made eventually, somehow. Try not to think about it so much. I see this messing people up a lot. Put it to the side a little. Don’t think about having, think about becoming. Having is fine, but focus on becoming“.

My husband – the other day, texted me: “I want to prep you before you negotiate salary and benefits with companies”. I replied: “Just let me have a job first, money will follow.”

“Don’t lose your sense of humor. Not enough of life makes sense for you to be able to survive it without humor.” I like to make jokes about myself and sometimes I realize people find it awkward because they are not sure if it is appropriate of them to laugh at my jokes 😅 Little do they know that although I take most things in life very seriously, myself – not so much. Maybe I have a weird sense of humor, but I will keep it.

That’s it – thank you Jerry for making me feel optimistic about myself and about my job search. When I feel in doubt, I will listen to your speech again. Now I need to get back to LinkedIn and Indeed.