A pessimistic optimist's job search journey

On Wednesday I had an interview for a position, and on Thursday I received an email saying I was no longer considered. (Tell me something new!). The recruiter decided to give me a chance, but the hiring manager did not. Or maybe the recruiter was desperate to bring more people into the pipeline, but the hiring manager was worried about wasting time on the wrong people before and after the job offer. What did I do wrong in the interview? And on and on were all these thoughts in the aftermath trying to make sense of the rejection. A part of me was sad and disappointed; “I am not good enough” lingers. But a part of me somewhat expected that to happen and so I did not feel too bad.

The rejection reminded me again not to take anything for granted. Next week, I am lucky enough to have another interview. Coincidentally or not, I am listening to the book “How to tell a story” in hope that I will find a better way to tell my story – at least in job interviews. The book suggested me to think about all the most significant moments that came to my mind first, asking myself “What about this moment that I remember?”. I feel grateful and happy that I have a chance to reflect on my life experience, to feel proud and optimistic. I think about the conversation I had last week with Samantha – the recruiter who brought me this interview opportunity, and I feel grateful for her. She is the probably the only recruiter so far who really listened and appreciated my all-over-the-place experience; she even gave a high-level summary of the patterns in my story at the end of our conversation. She also checked out my Instagram account! People like Samantha – makes me feel hopeful. I am sure I am not the only one who feels this way. And there are not many people like her.

The rejection also reminded me to keep applying so I can keep this momentum in my job search journey. More than a hundred applications yields three interviews – that’s how hard it is. I started feeling fatigue as I scroll through job posts; I have seen too many of them. I need to reset my mind a bit so that I can come back at it as quickly as I can.

I will not give up.