A pessimistic optimist's job search journey

I don’t want to use this blog as a space to vent, but I do want to reflect on my recent experience. To put it simply, the job wasn’t what I expected. I’ve asked for input from trusted people to help me fairly evaluate my feelings, my response, and my efforts. I’m especially grateful for my husband, who always gives me honest feedback and advice.

One key takeaway is that a job is just a job—it’s not worth stressing myself out the way I did. Some bosses just want an assistant who follows the process; creativity and critical thinking might not even be needed.

Another important lesson: don’t take things personally.

My husband reminded me, “I want you to be happy. If you’re not happy in this job, quit. I support you no matter what.”

I’m also grateful to have found a new mentor during my job search. She used to be an Executive Assistant herself, working with celebrities and ultra-high-net-worth (UHNW) individuals. Now, as a recruiter, she specializes in placing EAs and PAs with top-level executives and UHNW families. She found my resume while searching for candidates, but what really caught her attention was my balloon art. I’ve kept her updated on my job search, and after a month in my new role, I reached out to her for advice. Some might say it’s not smart to admit you’re unhappy with your job less than two months in, fearing it could make you seem inexperienced or uncommitted. I disagree. I think it’s okay to reach out to more experienced people, to clarify your feelings and ask for feedback. It shows that you’re aware of your situation, you care, and you’re making an effort to improve. Fortunately, she didn’t judge me for reaching out. Instead, she appreciated that I asked for her advice.

Her best piece of advice was this: “You learn something from every situation. Actually, in bad situations, you learn more. Sure, you have a bad boss, but now you can spot red flags and understand where to draw your boundaries.”

There were many times I listened to my inner voice, which led me to stand up for myself—speaking out for my values and integrity. It was scary at first, and after I spoke up, my heart would race. But I always told myself, “Whatever happens next, I’ll handle it.”

Ultimately, I left my job after three months. I feel relieved—not regretful. I won’t lie, there’s some self-doubt creeping in, and it’s tough knowing I may struggle with job searching for the next few months. Deep down, I feel like I’ve disappointed my family and those who cheered for me when I got the job offer. But at the same time, I’m proud of myself. I got out of a difficult situation. I stood by my values. And now, I have the courage to start this job search again, knowing that I’ll face some tough moments along the way.

As they say, “Negative energy is wasted energy. The world’s best performers aren’t the ones who win every point; they’re the ones who know they will lose, but they know how to handle it.” So, I’m choosing to focus on the positive. It’s a privilege to quit a job without worrying about how I’ll pay the bills. It’s a privilege to have the support of my family—not just my husband, but also my parents and my in-laws—and the encouragement of friends and even strangers.

That’s why I’m writing this blog post. To remind myself:

• Use my privilege.
• Work hard and focus on personal growth.
• Commit to each moment with intensity, clarity, and focus.

“When you’re playing a point, it has to be the most important thing in the world. But once it’s behind you, it’s behind you.” This mindset is crucial because it frees you to fully commit to the next challenge—whatever it may be.

On to the next point!